Today I have cellulite, sagging skin, wrinkles, and female parts heading south. When I did the mirror check 20 years ago it dictated my whole day. Wider hips = bad day. Flatter tummy = good day. Sad huh? This mornings mirror check for instance.... I would prefer to be about 10lb lighter but it's not going to spoil my day. I'm feeling pretty good. My husband thinks I'm sexy. When I get all dressed up...I think I look pretty good. So, the answer to my own question? I feel like it's a habit because I've done it since I was teenager. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Because somewhere along the way I became more accepting of my body. So when did my feelings change? That is a good question. I don't know exactly just somewhere in my mid 40's. How did it happen? Now that is a even better question. This is my answer.... I care more about being healthy as I'm aging than I care about being skinny. I want to live to be a ripe old age. I want to see my great Grandchildren. I want to pass on wisdom and family history. I associate keeping my weight down with being healthy. I don't have to be a bean pole ( the way I used to think) to be healthy or beautiful for that matter. I began to realize there were more important things to worry about than looking like a super model. As I get older, continue to learn and go through trials and tribulations I realize what is important and what isn't. Being a size 8 or smaller just doesn't concern me anymore. I don't have it all figured out believe me. After all I'm still doing the mirror check and the clothing test. Maybe one day I won't care about those things either. For now I'm thankful for my health and for the opportunity to learn something new about my life everyday.
|This is me now. I love my front porch|